nathalie shushan

In a world that teaches us that wealth is measured by material acquisition, gratitude is the antidote. It is alchemy that allows us to access our divinity as human beings and connects us to something (anything) outside of ourselves. Engaging in gratitude trains our brains to seek out the good in our lives and helps us overcome our natural tendency toward negativity bias. It offers a grand perspective shift and an opportunity to honor all that we have and all that we are.

My experience after being hit by a car taught me that there are ways to flood even the darkest tunnel with light while you’re in it. The different degrees and expressions of gratitude I felt all seemed to have a direct impact on my healing, almost certain to be causation over correlation. I was grateful to be alive, to be able to walk, for the support of my friends and family – endlessly full of gratitude in the face of a devastating experience. I felt like I had been given a second chance at life, like all of the blessings I had before glowed to remind me that they were there.

As I got healthier and busier, that profound gratitude waned. It didn’t disappear but it sat further and further toward the back of my mind, only accessible when I pulled it out and dusted it off. My dad, who had also been in a traumatic car accident years before, reminded me that, although the truth of our blessings remain forever, that intense knowing diminishes over time if we don’t take care to hold it.

So, years later, I made a pact with myself to reignite my gratitude. For one month, I ended each day writing five things I was grateful for. It was a small evening ritual with a profound ripple effect, as transformative for my outlook as the forceful reminder I’d received to be thankful for my place on earth. Some nights required more effort than others – but I made a commitment so I searched the contents of my days to hold onto whatever five things I could: a sweet interaction with a cashier, the support of my family or the kindness of a friend. If nothing else, I realized that I could always express my gratitude for the simple fact that I’d woken up that morning, for whatever challenge I faced that day that reminded me I was alive. As the month went on, it became easier and easier to recognize things I was thankful for. Instead of being relegated to an evening practice, gratitude was infused in every interaction I had with the world. Once again, every step I took felt like magic. Every bite of food was an explosion of flavor. Every moment spent with my friends and family felt like a gift. Colors were brighter, it was like the world dressed up to meet me because I had recognized her beauty. My life was the same and yet! I was showered in blessings. All I had to do was look for them.

As I sit to recall it now, I notice that my memory of the experience is more vivid than other parts of last year. I can clearly visualize this one plate of chicken wings that I split with my sister, how we savored each bite we took, laughing at our excitement over our snack. Every day, anything I did felt wondrous, like the gift that always is but is so often taken for granted. Smaller and smaller things started to feel like miracles – like the ability to put one foot in front of the other as I walked down the street – until everything I experienced became a gift.

I would be remiss not to recognize the privilege that underscores every word I write – but I also know how easy it is to fall into the trap of wishing your life were different in some way, that you could be different or better. And I know that, sometimes, our hands are bound by circumstance and the only thing we can change is our perception. In those moments, gratitude is the answer. It gives you a chance to turn your face toward the sun and bloom right where you’re planted. That shit sets us free. There is something profoundly empowering in recognizing our own innate ability to shift our perspective. The world we experience is a projection of our internal state and gratitude truly moves the needle of our contentment.

Don’t be timid with your expressions of gratitude. Be generous. I implore you to get loud with it. Let it shift your perspective and strengthen your connections. Reach outside of your immediate circle with a kind message of thanks and watch that change the little bit of world around you for the better. Gratitude is as contagious as it is powerful.

So, this year, I am grateful to you, my dearest reader, for being part of my most exciting journey yet. Thank you for your support and your willingness to get uncomfortable with me, for emboldening me to lean into that discomfort in pursuit of honesty and growth. And thank you for engaging in conversations about these thoughts that weigh heavy on my chest and for sharing your stories right back. I treasure it all.